Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Come and Relax Now...

...Lay your troubles down.. No need to bare the weight of your worries just let them all fall away.."

Lyrics to a Dave Matthews Band song. I will be heading to their concert tonight and this is what I'm wearing.
After the concert we're off to the beach for a couple of days, can't wait!!

Tank: Gap Outlet
Cardigan: Old Navy
Jeans: Old Navy
Shoes: Kenneth Cole Reaction
Bracelet: Gift from a student
Earrings: Lia Sophia 


I have never really been afraid to experiment with my hair.  Perms, highlights, two tone botched color jobs, stacked bobs, layered bobs, long layers, bangs, I've tried it all, with the exception of a very short pixie (can't get up the nerve for that one). I felt a little bored with my hair walking into the salon today and decided to go with a long bang. I love it right now and I'm sure I'll be fighting with them as soon as I wash my hair!

I'm having major issues with blurry pictures, I will have to work with that.

Tank: Gap Outlet (a coule of years ago)
Shrug: Old Navy (old)
Jeans: Dress Barn (last year)
Shoes: Target 

Monday, June 25, 2012

Do You Dare Wear Short Shorts?

Shorts. Shorts are a problem article of clothing for me. When I was younger I wore mostly shorter length shorts because that was the style and I was pretty thin and able to pull it off. Fast forward to post pregnancy, the trends changed to longer walking style shorts and my body changed as well. Oh and the numbers on the birthday candles stared increasing also. But I always felt like the longer shorts cut me off and made me look a little frumpy. I am not very tall, but not petite either. I fall in that average 5'4 height range. I've had these shorts from Old Navy for years. When I was doing the closet clean out post Robert, I got rid of a lot of stuff, but held on to these for some reason. Holding on to the fantasy that they might fit me again I guess. Well here I am, they fit again, and I wore them today. I don't think I look bad, but the thought crept into my head as we cruised the aisles of Toys R Us this morning, at 35 am I too old for these?

Well they are still on and I did try to balance out the shortness with a looser, longer shirt!

Shirt: Macy's 
Shorts: Old Navy
Sandals: Ann Klein 
Necklace: Charming Charlie's 

Summer Style

Well it's been official since Thursday at 12:45. I am on summer vacation! There is nothing like these first few days of being off, having 2 + months ahead of me to do what I want with. We've been very low key so far, which is fine by me. The last few weeks of school were exhausting.
Clothing is obviously going to get a lot more casual, but I try to keep it interesting. I broke out this staple from Loft that I wore a lot last summer. I love the colors and it's perfect for hot weather, going out, staying in, beach, pool, etc.

Dress: Loft (last summer)
Cardigan: Loft (last summer)
Flip Flops: Old Navy (old)
Necklace & Earrings: Lia Sophia 
Bracelets: Local shop Sunshine Daydreams 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Reflections of a School Year

Back in September I wrote this post after a long a stressful first full week of school. Fast forward 10 months later, and here I sit writing a totally different kind of post on a June night, a couple of days away from the closing of another year. What a long way we all have come since that post. Me, my class, and that little girl who cried her eyes out for the first couple of months of the year. The little girl, I'm going to call her H, entered my classroom and my life on a rainy September day crying, not speaking a word of English. We struggled to communicate, but made it work somehow. One day she stopped crying, I don't remember exactly when, and another day we started having   back and forth discussions in English. It kind of seemed like it all happened out of nowhere, when in reality it was a months long, year long process, a lot of hard work was done by all involved.  We had our "graduation" on Monday and H left my classroom reading, writing, and one of my biggest class participators during discussions. She was proficient in language arts and math on our standardized test. Her parents thanked me for all of my hard work and I thanked them for theirs. I said goodbye to H and the rest of my students with genuine tears in my eyes.  It gets frustrating, this teaching thing, but it's stories like H's and many many other students in my sweet little class this year that keep me going and make me want to do it all over again in September. I wish my little Kinders good luck next year in 1st grade. They were like the little class that could...

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Busy Busy

 The school year is winding down which means loads of paperwork and classroom organizing before I'm allowed to become a beach/pool/couch bum for the next 2.5 months.  Well maybe not a total bum. I do have a 4 year old to contend with after all. We'll say half a bum and call it a day :)

This weekend is going to be busy but I'm looking forward to it. Friday evening is my nephew's pre-k graduation, Saturday my husband's company picnic, and Sunday of course is Father's Day. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend as well!

Tank: Lauren Conrad for Kohl's (spring 2012)
Sweater: Old Navy
Skirt: Loft (spring 2012)
Shoes: Coach (summer 2010)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Tried to Support the Team

This red, white, and black combo was yesterday's attempt to support my beloved NJ Devils hockey team on the day they would play and eventually lose game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals against the L.A. Kings.  I've been a Devils fan since I was in high school and anyone who is familiar with hockey knows the success the Devils have had in the past 20 or so years... 3 Stanley Cup championships, 5 visits to the finals, and several hall of fame players on their team; including the unbelievable 40 year old Martin Brodeur, one the greatest goalies in NHL history.  They were not mighty enough to beat the Kings, but I'm still proud of them and their great playoff run!

Dress: Old Navy (recent)
Sweater: Old Navy (last year)
Shoes: Target

Thursday, June 7, 2012


Yep I've kind of been MIA these past few weeks. I have a good reason though. I'm going to share this personal story in the hopes that someone might read it and maybe it will help them or someone they love who has gone through a similar experience....

I went to bed one Wednesday night in May with nothing on my mind other than perhaps work related stress, or what should Robert wear to school the next day. I woke up Thursday morning and after the simple routine of a shower, I was a different person. I found a lump. On my breast. Yikes. I was not even performing a breast exam, I just happened to be soaping up and felt something.. different.. weird.. and more distinct than I have ever felt on my left breast. I tried to convince myself that it had always been there, but it hadn't, and when that realization finally sunk in I felt consumed with a panic that made me dizzy. I had to get out of the shower and lie down for a minute.

I talked myself down from this cliff decided to take the "wait and see" approach. Maybe I felt it because that time of the month was  approaching. Or maybe it was the fertility meds that my Dr. prescribed a couple of months back. I told no one, not my husband, not my mother, not my sister, not my best friend. No one. Telling someone would have made it too real. And this thing was going to just disappear anyway. That lasted for about 2 or 3 days before I finally broke down at work (after many trips to the bathroom to "check" it) and called my husband. He calmed me down, it's probably nothing, etc. etc. I also told my mom. I sensed some concern from her, but she also downplayed it. Then I told my best friend. She looked me in the eye and said to get on the phone with my Dr. and get an appointment for a mammogram and ultrasound. ASAP. If my mom and husband were calming, she was definitely alarming. But I knew why. Her grandmother, mother, and aunt all had breast cancer. She doesn't play when it comes to breast health. Her concern and urgency frightened me but I knew she was right.

I started with my OBGYN. She's great and I trust her and wanted to start this process off with someone who I felt totally comfortable with. She examined me and said she thought it might just be fibrocystic tissue, but that I should definitely go for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, to be safe. She thought it would be good for me to have a baseline now that I'm 35. I left her office feeling a lot better. It was Memorial Day weekend and I decided to just give myself a break from worrying until the actual appointment at the breast health center. I did pretty well, but the day of my appointment dawned and I was a mess again. A complete nervous wreck. No I was not afraid of the pain of a mammogram. I was afraid of the outcome. Terrified. My husband came with me but had to abandon me in the first waiting room because men are not allowed in the mammogram waiting rooms. I put on my robe, sat in the diagnostic section, and tried to keep myself calm. They called me in for the mammo and it was not bad, not as painful as I thought. A few minutes later I was called back for the ultrasound. Now THAT sent me a little over the edge. I'm in the dark room, getting told to turn and position myself in certain ways while the technician takes measurements of something strange looking with what looks to me to be a frown on her face. The only things I've ever had measured on ultrasound are babies, not lumps. But I got through it and it was time to wait for results. They call me back and the radiologist and breast surgeon are in a room with my mammogram images and ultrasound images all around them. The Dr. tells me that whatever I feel on my breast is nothing, it's fibrocystic tissue, just like my OB thought. BUT the technician did some digging and found something else...

Of course my stomach dropped. The Dr. said something along the lines of, "It looks like a benign fibroadenoma, but we want to biopsy it to check for atypical cells." Of course I totally ignored the "benign" part and focussed on the "biopsy it"part. I was a mess of googling and imagining the worse case scenario for the next few days leading up to the fine needle biopsy. I kept checking this new lump (could not find/feel it) It was all consuming. I felt like an awful mother/wife/teacher/friend. For lack of a more sophisticated term, I was a hot mess. Biopsy day came and I suddenly felt calmer. It was like everything came into focus. Yes I found something/they found something. Yes it's scary. Yes it's most likely benign, but even it's not, I am taking action, doing something about it, taking control of my life and my health. The biopsy itself was not painful, just a couple of tiny pinches and slight pressure. After it was over they put us in a nice private waiting room. I would have results in 30 minutes. And after all the nerves, worrying, and crying, it did turn out to be a benign fibroadenoma. Typically found in younger women, caused by hormones. It might have always been there, or maybe it had something to do with the fertility medication (that I'm no longer taking).  For now it's remaining where it is, to be checked again in 6 months. If it grows or changes at all at that time, that sucker's coming out.

And just like that I went from a person who thought my yearly mammogram screening wouldn't start for another 5 years, to someone who will probably have to be watched a little more closely. But the truth is my lumpy discovery might save me from something more serious in the future. If that's the case, I'm thankful for lumpy.